Thursday, 3 August 2023

The living hell of insomnia – and the solutions that don’t work

From telegraph.co.uk

By Roger Lewis

In this peculiar book, Marie Darrieussecq details her own battles with sleep deprivation – and those of other writers from Ovid to Hemingway

Insomniacs, whom the French author Marie Darrieussecq, with weary irony, calls “those champions of fatigue”, will try anything to drop off: earplugs, eyeshades, herbal teas, lime-blossom essence on the pillows. “I do a few Pilates stretches,” she writes in Sleepless, “with the same little inflatable ball that I also take with me when I travel.” Her bedsheets must be white, never ­patterned. For 30 years, she has been “running with barbiturates” and the like – Lexomil, Imovane, Atarax, Temesta, Donormyl. ­Cannabis didn’t work as “I felt wasted all day”. She drew the line at resorting to a morphine suppository. 

Night after night, Darrieussecq wakes at 4.30am: too early to get up, “too late to start living”. The ­digestion is upset, and one seems to see double. Cold, heat, pain – all are heightened. “Meaning is erased,” says Darrieussecq, “time is ­compressed.” Insomnia is like ­pushing a wheelbarrow uphill, in which squats a huge toad. “It’s so heavy, and its body gets bigger as the night goes on.” No wonder sleep deprivation is a torture technique, deployed still at Guantanamo Bay. Chronic insomnia attacks the ­short-term memory; exhaustion engenders a sort of idiocy. The walls of the bedroom seem to ­pulsate; worries crash upon you like waves. I should know: I’m an insomniac myself. 

                                              John Henry Fuseli's The Nightmare CREDIT: UniversalImagesGroup

Darrieussecq got herself hooked up to monitors in a lab, where the technicians found that she kept waking up 20 times an hour, a state known as “hypervigilance”. It turns out that writers are often prone to this – and, as Sleepless recounts, go on about it as if it implied some superiority. “I think insomnia is a path towards what I would call a higher intelligence,” said ­Marguerite Duras, in a boast worthy of Sontag or Woolf. The latter had to be whacked with a wet towel after taking too much Veronal, a white crystalline hypnotic. She was advised instead to drink milk and stop writing. Proust, who said of his insomnia, “I’m living in a sort of death punctuated by brief awakenings”, needed absolute silence. His walls were lined with cork, and he rented apartments above and below his own to keep them footstep-free. 

Whether or not sleeplessness grants visionary powers, there’s certainly a link with alcoholism. The insomniacal Hemingway and Faulkner drank a bottle of whisky a day. Jean Rhys required two ­bottles of wine; Lawrence Durrell needed four or five pints – also of wine. As for Darrieussecq: “I’m incapable of falling asleep without my red wine.” (Surely the litre of coffee she takes each evening can’t help; I daren’t touch even decaf beyond mid-afternoon.) 

“The world is divided,” we are told, “into those who can sleep and those who can’t.” This seems as sound a definition as any. ­Insomniacs often claim they’ve gained six or seven years of ­wakefulness by not wasting time slumbering – but it’s a horrible sort of wakefulness, an unproductive prickly grogginess, and I always envied Churchill, who had a bed in his office for afternoon naps. He claimed his snoozes “won the war”. Pepys, Darrieussecq tells us, slept through the Great Fire of London: “His servant had to shake him to get him out of bed.” People who sleep soundly will often say, annoyingly, “I have a clear conscience”, as if the insomniac were, like Macbeth, guilty of heinous crime and sin. 

                                                 Marie Darrieussecq, author of Sleepless CREDIT: Yann Diener-POL

The plain fact is, as Darrieussecq puts it, that “nothing prevents the insomniac from not sleeping” – not hot milk, immersion in an icy bath, acupuncture, meditation, fasting, or even heavy blankets filled with glass beads. “The anti-insomnia blanket prevented me from ­sleeping,” she says, concluding that every trick is generally hopeless.

Sleepless is a peculiar book, though it captures the skittering, jittery mood of an insomniac’s “white forgetfulness”, of what it’s like to be simultaneously over-stimulated and over-stretched. Darrieussecq is known for her disconcerting approach – her first novel Truismes (1996), which sold a million copies, concerned a woman who turns into a pig – and true to form, there are many digressions here. Yet they often fail to add up: paragraphs about Africa, Japan, Chernobyl, extinct animals, deforestation, pangolins, hotel rooms, complete with smudgy snapshots. The net effect of all these jottings and footnotes? I was soon dead to the world.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/what-to-read/sleepless-by-marie-darrieussecq-review/ 

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