How To Beat Sleeplessness With ‘Paradoxical Intention’

From forbes.com

By Mark Travers

Many people come to therapy seeking solutions for their sleep problems. They may say things like:

• “I’ve done everything right—I keep my room dark and quiet, I avoid screens before bed and I even use a white noise machine. But no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to fall asleep.”
• “I’m constantly worried about not getting enough sleep, and the anxiety keeps me awake.”
• “I wake up multiple times during the night and then struggle to fall back asleep.”

Unfortunately, the heightened anxiety around bedtime for people who have difficulty falling asleep can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just like a musician might find it harder to play when focused on getting every note “just right,” individuals might find it harder to sleep when they’re focused on every moment of wakefulness.

In psychology, this is called “performance anxiety”—a state of heightened stress and worry when performance and outcome are of utmost importance. This is where the concept of “paradoxical intention” comes into play. Paradoxical intention is a strategy that involves doing the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. 

A 2021 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Sleep Research that explored the benefits of paradoxical intention to treat insomnia found that it significantly reduced the performance anxiety people develop around sleep. This means that by trying to stay awake instead of forcing sleep, people were able to relax their minds, let go of the stress about not sleeping and, paradoxically, fall asleep faster. This technique showed promising results even when compared to other sleep interventions, making it a valuable tool for those struggling with sleeplessness.

Here are two practical strategies to use paradoxical intent to tame your sleep troubles.

Have you noticed how the more you try to force yourself to sleep, the harder it becomes? Here’s how performance anxiety may be to blame.     GETTY

1. Do Something You’ve Been Putting Off, But Pick Wisely

If you struggle to fall asleep every night, it can be quite scary to “give in” to your insomnia and allow yourself to stay up. But the solution lies in reframing what your insomnia means to you.

Think of it this way: everyone has 24 hours in a day, but because of your difficulty falling asleep, you’ve been given the gift of extra time. This shift in perspective can help reduce the stress and anxiety associated with insomnia. Instead of viewing these extra waking hours as a problem, see them as an opportunity to do something productive that you’ve been putting off.

However, it is crucial you pick an activity that isn’t too stimulating. Don’t, for example, use this time to catch up with a friend in another time zone. This is likely to keep your mind active and alert, making it even harder for you to fall asleep. The goal isn’t to tire yourself out either. So, don’t choose activities that require a lot of physical exertion, like intense workouts or heavy cleaning.

What you can do, instead, is choose an activity that you’ve been dreading to do because it is mundane, repetitive or, in other words, “boring.” This may include activities like:

• Reorganizing your bookshelf by alphabet
• Reading up on new topics for a class you don’t particularly enjoy
• Doing laundry

Activities like these can help distract your mind without causing too much excitement or stress. The key is to engage in an activity that requires some level of attention but is not overly stimulating or enjoyable to the point where it keeps you awake. These tasks can help shift your focus away from the pressure to sleep and may even make you feel drowsy, helping you to fall asleep more naturally.

2. Slip Into A Daydream, But At Night

Instead of focusing your mental energy on a rigid structure designed to fall asleep (like guided meditation to fall asleep, for instance), allow yourself to “freestyle” by creating calm and soothing mental images in your mind.

This can help your mind relax and drift away from the pressures of the day. The goal is not to get lost in complex thoughts that might stimulate your mind too much, but to gently nudge your mind away from the fact that it isn’t falling asleep.

Here’s an example of how this can be used to great effect:

Get into bed, find a comfortable position and close your eyes. Now, try to imagine what your neighbourhood looked like hundreds of years ago. Where do you imagine the centre of the town was? What were people selling there? What did language sound like? If there is a beach in your city or town, how different do you think it looked back then?

The idea is to not worry about your day or even yourself, really. While daydreaming at night, try to visualize scenarios that are interesting enough that you would be distracted by it, but not so interesting that you would want to stay up just to continue the daydream.

Conclusion

Struggling to fall asleep is a common experience for many people. By embracing the paradoxical intention approach, you can break free from the cycle of performance anxiety, leading to a more relaxed mindset and faster sleep onset. Embracing practical strategies like utilizing the “extra” time wisely and employing a “freestyle” approach to relaxation can be transformative steps toward overcoming sleeplessness.

If you’d like to find out how your sleeplessness is affecting your daily life and sleep patterns, take the Insomnia Severity Index here: Insomnia Severity Index

https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/12/how-to-beat-sleeplessness-with-paradoxical-intention/