By Jennifer C Jackson
I'm going to tell you a little secret. Despite organizing my business around helping people sleep, I don't always sleep that great myself. While I usually wake up in the morning feeling rested, and I almost never have difficulties falling asleep initially anymore, I still experience those pesky middle of the night wake-ups where I don't easily fall back to sleep. The big difference between the old me and the new me is that I don't get anxious about it anymore. Instead, I get curious.
If I ask myself the question, "Why am I awake?" an answer will usually come. More often than not, if I can use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and tap on the emotions surrounding the answer, I can head back to sleep within an hour or so, and feel fine the next day. I might have an off-night here and there or possibly an off-week, but it doesn't persist for months the way it used to.
This past month, however, I enrolled in a class that is filling me with excitement. I love what I'm learning and can't wait to do the work assigned. Not unexpectedly I started waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes really wanting to do my work. When I am filled with such a burning desire to do something, sometimes it is better to just get up and do it. So, for the first week, I didn't worry about this.
But then this cycle moved into a second week and then a third, and I began to get cranky. And I was no longer feeling that desire to work when I woke at 2:00 a.m. I was just plain annoyed.
So finally, after almost a month, I put on my coaching hat and gave myself a session. "What is going on??!!" I asked myself. And then I knew. I really knew. I had been here so many times.
I was in "Super Student Mode." For most of my life I have either been in "Super Student" or "Super Teacher Mode." It happens when I am passionate about a curriculum and want to digest every little bit. I want to get it right, be the best I can, and this powerful energy seems to take me over. In some ways I have had success with this. It got me into Yale and propelled me through many challenging work situations. But it has also been my undoing. There is only so long a person can sustain that energy without feeling edgy, tired, and eventually burned out.
One of the gifts of losing my stressful job and then only working part-time is that I wasn't in this mode for several years. I got to experience what it is like to get GREAT sleep, feel rested most of the time, and be fully present for the people and activities that filled my days. It was a completely different way of being for me, and while I missed the direction and focus that has characterized me for so long, in some ways I was happier than I had ever been.
Then came this course and the old familiar energy returned. At first it felt GREAT - both exhilarating and familiar. But then this sleep thing reared its ugly head, and I knew I had to pay attention.
I realized I was afraid to let this energy go because I want to ride this momentum and I don't know how to do that any other way. My whole life I've either been relaxed and soundly sleeping, but not super productive -- OR passionate, excited, and super productive, but not sleeping well. Does it HAVE to be a choice? Or could there be a new way of being I haven't yet experienced?
Not knowing what else to do, I asked the Universe for help. I began tapping on all the possible ways I could express this, ending with something like this:
Even though I am afraid of losing my passion, purpose, and productivity if I soften the grip on my focus, I am choosing to SURRENDER and move into a path of open-ness and curiosity. I am trusting I will be even more constructive and creative if I can SOFTEN the edges of my mind and allow myself to enjoy the fullness of life, including good sleep.
I went to back to bed feeling good and got a few more hours of decent sleep. The next night I closed my eyes and didn't wake up for almost 7 hours. The cycle had broken! Halleluja!! I had hit the target with my tapping.
Over the past few years where I have slept well more often than not, I have learned to view my little bouts of insomnia as an "early detection warning system." An off night or two is like that light on your car signaling you need an oil change. Not that big of a deal. Usually a little tapping can do the trick, just like a routine oil change will make that light go away.
But 3-4 weeks is like a "check engine" light, and I knew I had to really tune in. Thanks to the "early detection warning system" of my insomnia, I am intending to rewrite my usual script of passionate beginnings ending in exhaustion and burn-out. I am setting a clear intention to find a way to be both productive AND grounded - and when I find it I will be that much better able to serve those who need help finding this too.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Insomnia-As-an-Early-Detection-Warning-System&id=9343068
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